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I have done 24 events now with Tony Robbins, many crew and several as an attendee.
This time, I was invited to participate in a Study conducted by Stanford University.
Here’s what’s crazy about this time, I didn’t buy my ticket, I didn’t search a way to go, I even declined to go to a friends place to do it for free with his team…I was not interested in attending this one. I also had an opportunity to Crew it in studio, but also didn’t pursue that.
When my dear friend Rosa told me about this opportunity last minute, I was like, “Hmmm, maybe I need to listen to this, maybe this is the universe telling me I really needed to go”…so I did.
It happened VERY quickly and part of me didn’t even think it was real, but holy shit was it ever. The ‘realest’ one yet.
I find my time with Tony Robbins and in his environment is always so magical. It’s even addicting sometimes…and one thing that always stands out is the connection it creates with your peers and with people you’ve literally met for seconds sometimes, the bond happens fast and that is something that I crave and love about this family.
We were about 350 strong in this study and although I didn’t spend a lot of time in the group chat (it never stopped lol), I did get even closer to my crew team from UPW, who were also in the study. Distance doesn’t matter, time difference doesn’t matter, where you come from doesn’t matter, these people are your brothers and sisters for life and years can go by and when you are reunited in this environment, it’s like you saw each other yesterday, it’s magic.
So what did I come out with from this one?
A couple of massive shifts that will undoubtedly shake this shit up for the better.
Here are 3 BIG takeaways from my Date With Destiny.
1. There are 2 forms of communication:
Loving communication or a cry for help. This one hit me hard. Communication is hard for most of us, harder still when you have someone who is actively working on improving themselves vs someone who still wants to blame the world for their situation in life. When someone is talking to you, ask yourself, “is this loving communication or is this a cry for help”. For example, if I am arguing with someone, my ex maybe, am I communicating lovingly? Nope, it’s a cry for help. A cry to be heard and understood, a cry because I am worried about something perhaps to do with our children, or even a cry for help to help me to navigate our divorce. It comes down to what am I looking to accomplish, what is the outcome I am after? When you look at the 2 options as the only 2 options for why that person is communicating, things can move forward with a lot less pain.
2. My Values Were Still Kind Of F*cked 😊
One of the main focuses in DWD is your ‘values’. What do you value in your life and then it’s broken into two categories. What are your TOWARDS values and what are your AWAY values? We list the ones that are most important for us to feel and then ones we are looking most to avoid feeling.
My toward value of FREEDOM was still front and center and that shocked me because I truly thought I had found 'freedom' from that value. I had not. During a breakout session where we talk about the order and rules of our values, it occured to me...
Freedom = need for control = lack of FAITH...and there it was...it was about a lack of faith all along.
So, I changed it to FAITH and took freedom straight off the list once and for all. After all, I don't need to have the 'value' of freedom, I am free so I don't even need to draw attention to it!
My next big one was the value of PLAYFULLNESS. How frickin exciting, I can literally have this play out in every area of my life and I can tell you that this one has already changed everything for me. I am playful all the time and the times I am not, I gently remind myself to find a way to be silly...totally life changing.
3. Change Your Story, Change Your Life
Regardless of how many personal development events we go to, we will always find a way back to some old stories that we know don't serve us. We also have a way of playing that story over and over again and wondering, "why am I still stuck?". The short answer is that it's your story, your beliefs, the longer story is the values...but you won't know what your values are at the beginning of learning about yourself, so the 'story' is kind of where you start. I have seen Tony do a ton of interventions in my time in this community and I am still blown away by how effeciently he does it. This time was no different. The core of all of his interactions with participants is the story, what story are you telling yourself that is keeping you in this unhappy state, what story is keeping you from a "beautiful state"?.
The reason this is the pillar of all we do in personal development is because that one question will literally change your entire life. Are you in a story you made up that makes you pissy? Scared? Angry? The victim? Or are you in one that sees things for what they are, not worse than they are, but for what they actually are? Do you see that you are a victim of your circumstance, or the victor? All of this boils down to your story...and I think that's super exciting because it means you can change that story to something way more compelling...change your story, change your life!
Date With Destiny is still one of my favorite events and it's still one of the most challenging ones as well. I am joining the Platinum Partners this year and that means I will be attending DWD in December of 2023 in person and for me, that's always a perfect way to end the year. Now, going into 2023, I have a lot more clarity on how to love myself even more deeply and how to organize my values so that they work with me, not against me. We forget, I think, that we aren't hard wired with beliefs and values, we pick them up as we go, mostly from childhood, but we can intentionally work at changing them to serve us. It's not always easy, in fact, it's mostly NOT easy, but it's so worth it on every level.
I am looking forward to 2023 in a way I haven't in a while. I am excited to serve you, my beautiful community and to develop this new business of real estate along side my coaching, my belief had me thinking it was one or the other until I shifted that too.
Here's to an amazing year to come!
Big love,
Cara
ps. I created a DREAM Book which is a bit like a vision board on paper, if you're interested in how I set it up, let me know, I am looking to do a MasterClass on it if there is enough interest!
