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My Freedom Is My Self Care

Let’s talk self care for a second shall we?

What does that really mean?

If I am being honest, to me, it means FREEDOM.

I recently attended Date With Destiny in West Palm Beach, Florida and one of the things we focused on was our Values.

We navigate our lives by our values and those shape our beliefs and our beliefs shape our lives.

As I was working through some of the hardest shadow work of my life, I came to realized my values were totally f*cked.

To feel my freedom value, I needed to be single, travel, and not own a home.

Another one of my values was companionship.

To feel my companionship value, I needed to be married…see the GIANT contradiction there?

I hadn’t until that day.

So What Does Self Care Have To Do With Values?


For me to feel in alignment with myself, I must practice my values, in this case, it comes down to my freedom and the lack of it in the last 5 months. By now, I would have been on at least 4 trips to either Crew a Tony Robbins event or something else (for sure NYC a couple times).

I haven’t gone anywhere really and I am starting to feel pretty cramped, my self care routine has been severely altered.

Self care isn’t just about the Goddess Bath or Breathwork, I did both of those last night, it was incredible, but it showed me some stuff that really brought this whole freedom value home for me.

When I was in my breathwork, I saw myself on my own. It feels scary to say that, on my own…I have 4 kids, a husband, a dog, cat, and hamster…how could I be on my own? Well, I wasn’t totally.

I saw myself in a red rock field with hundreds of women from all over the world. We were dancing and some were drumming and we were absolutely free. Free to express whatever came up for us. A massive sisterhood of goddesses just moving along side one another on the earth…it was spectacular.

credit :Photographer unknown Source Wild Woman Sisterhood

For me, Cara, not Mom or Wife, but Cara, I know I am here for a purpose. I am here to show women what real freedom looks like, what feminine divine looks like…so being alone on that journey sometimes feels right. It feels almost like sometimes I am a Priestess going up the mountain on her own to scream down to the others that it’s perfectly safe to be in her feminine…but in order to do that, I must go ahead, alone sometimes.

Like my purpose is THAT, and that is what I am meant for.

In order for that to work, I need my freedom sometimes, well, all the time, to make these types of decisions about my time.

My freedom means taking trips alone.

My freedom means having my own room, even though I am married.

My freedom means not having to always explain why I want to be alone with my thoughts.

My freedom is my self care.

It doesn’t for a second mean I don’t want my family around me, on the contrary, I want them around me often, but not at the expense of my values, because if you compromise that, you are a shitty mom, a shitty wife, a shitty friend…

So self care is balance.

Self care is knowing you’re a good person even when you want the world to be quiet.

Self care is honouring that you are an individual and the people in your life MUST honour that too.

I am obsessed with being a family woman, but I am also obsessed with serving.

My freedom is my self care.

Big love,


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